It’s Valentine’s Day morning, as I write this. I pampered myself with a long, hot shower. Using all my favourite luxe bath and skincare products, I gave myself undivided attention. To be fair (any Letterkenny fans?), I do this most mornings. It’s part of the childfree lifestyle I’ve created.
The weather outside is a frightful minus 38 degrees Celsius. I have not left the house in a week. But, as this is the “day of love,” I’m going out for Valentine’s Day milkshakes with a lover of mine. The pandemic restrictions were lifted this week to allow restaurant dine-in service at a limited capacity. I’m still pretty skittish about the virus, so it’s a fast-food date in the vehicle. I might be out of my mind because it’s so freakin cold here, but hey, I’m in the mood for an old-fashioned drive-thru.
I’m so not a romantic. I’m not in love with love.
Yes, I adore flowers and candy, and I buy myself these things. I also allow someone else to buy them for me. But, I love being single while enjoying the pleasures of companionship in moderation.
A hot topic in the childfree community is love and dating. I’ve left a little something at the end of this newsletter that addresses the issue.
2021 Childfree Conference update
This week, we organize the speakers and panellists for the virtual conference happening July 31 (August 1-Australia)! We are focusing on topics that are most relevant to people who have never wanted to have kids.
The event will be live-streamed on the official conference Facebook page. Stay tuned for more details!
Part of my duties as PR manager for this event is to create images for social media. It’s making me up my game as I collaborate with the other two co-founders, and then I have to figure out how to bring it to life. Challenge accepted!
Accidental Parenthood
In this week’s episode of Accidental Parenthood, my brother Evan talks about setting boundaries with extended family members as he raises his kids. I share how girls are groomed from a young age to "want" to become mothers. By comparison, Evan was only concerned about what colour Power Ranger he wanted to be. Other topics in this episode: Using photos of kids to get more "likes" on social media, and when does a parent have the time to get to know themselves?
Click the image to listen to this episode or search it up on Spotify, iTunes/Apple Podcast, PlayerFM, et al.!
Childfree Clubhouse Events
It’s been a week since I joined Clubhouse, the audio-only app. I. AM. OBSESSED!
I’ve sat in so many amazing conversations and even participated in a few. It’s still invite-only and for iPhone users exclusively, but I’m hearing rumours of Android coming soon.
If you are on the app and want to check out the childfree conversation, here are the events for the week of Feb 14th, 2021.
Tuesday, February 16th, 7 PM EST
Childfree People’s Representation in the Media Needs to Change. Hosted by myself and Isabel Firecracker.
Friday, February 19th, 7 PM EST
Childfree Celebrations. Hosted by Raphie Wagner of Not A Momma Life podcast,
If you want more details, please email me!
info@lenorafaye.com
Childfree-pick-of-the-week
As promised, here is a conversation about Love and Romance as childfree women. This is an early episode of Childfree Girls. It’s also available in podcast form on Spotify, iTunes, etc.
This was before I began wearing wigs on the show. Recorded in 2019. The things we share here still stand true!
Final thoughts
While I’ve always known that I didn’t want to be a mother, my feelings towards marriage and conventional relationships fluctuate. I am open to the idea of marriage later on in life, but the thought doesn’t excite me. Having autonomy over my daily life and finances excites me. I have that now. I don’t want to fuck with that.
I’ve never been a “dater.” I’ve had one public relationship. The rest, I keep private. At present, I have all my needs met while living alone and not compromising my time and dreams. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point—a lot of communication, some heartbreak, and a healthy dose of stubbornness.
The best thing is to take time to figure out what YOU need. Please give it to yourself as much as you can, using what you already have. Somewhere along the journey, you meet people who respect your needs while enhancing your life with their presence. And vice versa.
Wishing you a great week ahead!
Until next time,
LeNora Faye