This week, my city declared (again) a state of emergency, along with the province I live in. It’s now illegal to have indoor social gatherings. I was great at turning down invitations pre-pandemic.
But now?
That slight twinge of guilt is gone!
I’m thinking about making social distancing my 2021 New Year’s resolution.
Home Alone
It’s nearing midnight as I write this. The living room is awash in the soft glow from the mini Christmas lights I strung up over the bay window and on my white tree. My rhinestone-encrusted face masks are twinkling on the bookcases I hang them from. I appreciate empty floor space but tonite, my two violins (in their cases) are laying out. I had a momentary burst of desire to play. Once a professional, I now sound a decade out of practice. My real New Year’s resolution is to order a piano and start playing again.
Why is it weird that a grown woman should want to live alone? And not have children?
Growing up, I dreamt of living by myself. I had my first solo apartment at 19 and it was heaven.
A hole, but heaven.
No wifi (not a thing in 2002) and no TV, but heaven.
My 19-year-old self is so jealous of my soon-to-be 38 current self. But, myself at 19 didn’t have the skills to keep a 3 bedroom 3 bath townhouse sparkling clean. I’m horrified by my lack of cleanliness in that first basement apartment. I had to work my way up the cleanliness ladder to deserve this current place. Ha!
Women who acquire their own homes, either purchased or rented, are to be celebrated!
Seriously!
Creating a home for yourself where you can feel like a queen—whatever your budget, is admirable!
Magic Mountain
Just before the local state of emergency was declared, I decided to take last Tuesday off from writing and the internet in general. The need to take a drive to the neighbouring mountains was strong. I put on a nice dress, did my hair, and covered it all up with a winter coat.
It’s never about the destination, although Banff National Park is a world-renowned tourist spot. For me, the drive is everything.
Here is where being childfree is …..freedom. While I acknowledge that I have the time and resources to take a day trip to the mountains at random, my decision to not have kids plays a big part.
I enjoy my daily life, most of it is spent creating digital childfree content. But, I do feel the heaviness of this pandemic. Creativity needs stimulation and for me, that means leaving the house once in awhile.
As I drove and the mountains began to appear, I felt all sorts of emotions. A purge was happening. Happy to being spending a day in nature. Uneasy about the ever-changing pandemic restrictions. Annoyed that the childfree lifestyle is ignored by mainstream media.
So, I went shopping. Fresh fudge and loose-leaf Cream of Earl Grey tea are excellent pick-me-ups. The mountain resort town was quiet. Eerie. Normally bustling with tourists, I found myself alone as I walked along the main streets. With the Rocky Mountains surrounding the quaint shops decked out in festive decor, I felt like I was on the set of a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie. It was awesome!
I also visited an old cemetery. I love cemeteries. They remind me to enjoy being alive. I contemplate my mortality all the time. Not in a depressing way, just a “take a moment to breathe” kind of way.
I slept well that night.
Childfree Pick of the Week
This week’s pick is an article called “There is a wrong time to start a family” written by childfree author Kristen Tsetsi. She’s also one of the Childfree Girls podcast co-hosts. It’s worth noting that this article was republished on the Motherly website, which is hilarious to me. I’d include that link but it’s covered in baby ads and that’s just mean.
*wink*
Final Thoughts
Everyone has different needs when it comes to personal happiness. The kicker is some needs are more socially accepted. Being a woman who lives alone and doesn’t have children, by choice, is not as accepted as being a woman who is married with a brood of four. Never mind who is happier.
And with that, my french toast, bacon, and coffee are ready.
Until next time,
LeNora Faye