‘Tis the Season of “When Are You Having Kids?”
And the latest in childfree conversations, and responses to childfree bingos!
Dear Anyone Who Plans On Asking, “When Are You Having Kids?”
Don’t do it!
Regards,
LeNora Faye, Childfree Lifestyle Advocate
I just realized a superpower I’d love to have: being able to sit down with every one of your family members or acquaintances who gives you shit for not having kids and help them understand that you’ve made the best choice for you. And, that it’s not selfish. After all, people have children to satisfy their needs, or they satisfy their needs, and as a result, children are created.
Does pressuring someone to have children make a person feel better? I know it makes Gwyneth Paltrow feel better—she admits on her podcast that she talked Cameron Diaz into having a kid. But I digress.
Families are made up of individuals with different needs and yet how many people feel like they have to compromise to fit in? One person checks all the boxes of “success,” and suddenly, it becomes a competition.
“Expand the family tree!” (It’s the only thing we’ll ever create.)
“We NEED more grandkids!” (Our friends have more than we do.)
“We’ve SACRIFICED so you could have a better life!” (YOU need to sacrifice now, so you know how it feels.)
The holidays are presented as a time of goodwill, setting aside differences and celebrating together—peace, love, forgiveness, and alcohol. To be childfree doesn’t mean that you automatically suffer during the holidays. For some, this is a joyful time of year. For others, it’s a time of setting boundaries, deflecting questions with humour, or avoiding gatherings altogether. It helps to remember that people are viewing you through their experiences and expectations. Anything they say to you is a projection of their feelings, good or bad. You get to decide how/if you want to respond. Keep in mind, the more we challenge the narrative that everyone must have kids, the faster we normalize the childfree choice.
Childfree Holiday Survival is an event happening on December 2nd, hosted by Therese Shechter, director of My So-Called Selfish Life.
You’ll find another great resource of responses to annoying questions further down this newsletter.
Is Childfree Good for the Planet?
Childfree Convention hosted a live-stream event last week featuring Nandita Bajaj, executive director of Population Balance. We discussed holding corporations accountable for promoting large families, bringing the childfree choice into family planning conversations, and the pressures placed upon us to procreate.
Childfree Girls Podcast & Web Series
Also available on Spotify, Apple Podcast, etc., episode 56 of Childfree Girls features Therese Shechter, director of the new childfree documentary, My So-Called Selfish Life. We talk about Hollywood’s unwillingness to make Childfree content, men who freak out about menopause, audience reception to her new film, and more.
Childfree pick of the week
This week’s pick comes courtesy of Jaimee ( YouTube -Shamrockgirlworld804 /Instagram - Shamrockgirlworld).
Responses to Childfree Bingos is a free, in-depth and practical guide created by Jaimee. (The link takes you to Google Docs). Read it, memorize it, save it for future reference!
Thank you, Jaimee, for putting this together!
Childfree Morning Chat
For some, it’s Childfree Afternoon/Evening Chat. Hosted on the Clubhouse app, this is an audio-chat experience; all genders welcome! Live, never recorded, private (must be a member of Childfree Club), free to join and participate.
I’m still waking up at 8 in the morning to host. I love it so! You can share your childfree experiences or stay in the audience and listen; messaging is also available if you want to share your thoughts privately or have us read them out to add to the conversation.
Download the Clubhouse app on your phone, search Childfree Club and request to join!
Final thought
These two screws were taken out of my ankle two weeks ago. I still have four screws and a metal plate in my ankle, with no removal date in sight. I have another seven weeks of physiotherapy, but I am making progress. I can now walk up the stairs without holding onto the railings. I still need help going down, though.
Be sure to follow me on Instagram; I’m now at Childfree Blog.
Chat soon,
LeNora Faye